Carmine

Theres a client in my current engagement who embodies just about everything that is wrong and bad with modern-day business presentations. He is a nice enough guy and seems to be competent at his job, but when he stands up to present something you can feel the whole conference room shudder.

Its not that he is unprepared. Hes actually quite fastidious about putting together his presentations. And its not a lack of style that sends a chill down his audiences collective spine. Its because his style seems to have come from another, parallel universe, a parallel universe where all the things you shouldnt do during a presentation are standard fare for presenters. Consultants being a snide bunch of people, we secretly call him the Dark Lord of PowerPoint or just Darth PowerPoint.

Darth PowerPoint has excelled at learning and mastering a set of evil presentation anti-skills which will, when properly applied help you to Lose Friends and Encourage Enemies Through Bad Presentations-to paraphrase Dale Carnigie. Take note, gentle reader, and be certain to steer clear of the things on this list:

Dont use a pointer.
There are generally two types of pointers available to malevolent presenters: the stick and the laser pointer. Both have their wicked uses. The stick (retractable or otherwise) is a lovely way to intimidate your audience. Simply swing it about and shake it at your audience and youre sure to get their attention. Slapping the screen and banging the table with it works as well.

The laser pointer, on the other hand is a great way to show everyone how nervous you are. Every beat of your frantically beating heart is transformed into an amusing, jumping light show. Also the little point of light emitted from most laser pointers is so small that the presenter usually has to resort to frantically wiggling the pointer about to draw attention to the topic of interest on the slide. The bottom line is, if you really need a stick or a laser to point out something important on your slide, you probably need to re-work the slide for clarity and simplicity.

Dont Give Handouts Before your Presentation.
Lets face it, when given the chance to sit up straight, make eye-contact with and pay attention to someone speaking or to hunch down and flip through some paperwork, most of us would chose to hunch down and read. So, if you can help it, dont give your audience the choice; dont pass out handouts till the end. Not unless you really dont want anyone to be paying attention to your presentation. If thats the case, this might just be a good tactic to draw attention away from your miserable speaking skills. Oh yes, and do tell your audience that youll be giving them handouts at the end. This can save them quite a bit of angst, since most people really dont like to take detailed notes. It makes them feel like they are in college again.

Dont use animation and music/sound effects in your presentation.
I know. Youre frustrated because you didnt get accepted into film school and you ended up working for an insurance company instead. That would frustrate me too, but trying to rekindle your dream of mastering the moving picture with PowerPoint during your presentation is NOT the answer. Chances are quite good that all those flying and swooping text boxes synchronized with camera clicks and lighting crashes are NOT having the desired impressive effect that you had hoped they would. Chances are even better that you are making yourself seem really silly in the eyes of your audience. Not quite what you had in mid, Im sure. Animated slides, sound effects and music really dont belong in a serious business presentation. They distract and take away from the point you are trying to make rather than emphasize and impress.

These are just three things that you should avoid. Indeed there are many more pitfalls that you should avoid if you are interested in being persuasive and effective in your presentations. But if you can just keep these three things in mind, youll have already done much to positively differentiate yourself from Darth PowerPoint.

Benjamen Bauer is the pen name of an active management consultant who enjoys discussing and writing about good (and bad) presentation technique. Since he currently is in the employ of a big-name consultancy, he prefers to remain anonymous whilst writing about of contemporary business presentation culture from the front lines. You can read his blog and tutorials at http://www.professional-powerpoint.com