Carmine

In an attempt to help me relax and forget about the millions of emails that were backing up in my inbox, Randy scheduled me for a one-hour massage while he went to golf school. A nice distraction, but I'm insisting that I am due one of my two allotted email fixes this week. He agrees that tonight is the night I can get online. He wants to start reading the Celestine Prophecy.

We went downtown to see if any of the restaurants had changed their minds and decided to serve lunch to the ignorant tourists who didn't know that summer is the off season in the desert. We parked and took a hike down Palm Canyon Boulevard. I had on high heels and my new Indian embroidered mini dress I got at Walgreen's. I was practically running to keep up with my husband. He was a man on a mission to fill his stomach. After trekking 12 blocks up one side of the street and back down the other, we had only one choice. It was Mexican food...again.

Tuesday was my new son-in-law's birthday but I forgot it again this year. It was on my calendar at home. I was not home. "Out of sight, out of mind," my momma would say. I apologize, Scott. After being part of our family for nearly six years, you would think I could remember your birthday. Especially, since it is the day before my grandmother's birthday and I've been remembering hers all these years. Sheesh! I would forget my own kids birthdays if it weren't for the fact that I still can't see my feet. After all these years, my belly has never retreated to its original pre-pregnancy size after delivering two 9-pound babies. Plus, I've had three (non-elective, non-cosmetic, life-threatening (you get the idea) surgeries that permanently rearranged the rest of my blubber.

That reminds me. There was an old woman at the pool who fit the description of the Interrogator mentioned in The Celestine Prophecy. She was mumbling something about my big day coming soon and I understood her to say congratulations. I didn't realize she was even talking to me until she asked me when I was due. Due for what? I'm on vacation. I have no appointments. Legally, I'm not supposed to even pick up my email. Then, I realized she was looking at my stomach. She thought I was pregnant. I was furious! She was hospitalized after I "accidentally" knocked her into the kiddy pool and broke her hair-do. I sent her a get well card. Bitch.

I told you I have been under a lot of stress. I've spent the last six months writing a book that is going to upset a lot of people.

Yvonne Perry is a freelance writer and editor who assists people with any type of writing project. She is available to assist you with telling your story or writing your book. See http://www.yvonneperry.net for more information about her writing and editing services, books, newsletter, podcast and blog. Her podcast Writers in the Sky is filled with information about the craft and business of writing, publishing, marketing and networking. New subscribers to her F*REE monthly newsletter receive a complimentary eBook Tips for Freelance Writing. Yvonne's book on stem cell research will be available Oct 1 at right2recover.com